November 2008

Well...I haven't been on here for a long time. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! I can't believe how fast life is going by. I am about to turn 30 on the 22nd of this month. That's a bit hard to swallow. Not ready to leave my 30's - but wow, I remember when MY MOM turned 30. Now it's my turn. Tune in later to see how I did! :)
Anyways, the Johnson Family is doing great. I am staying very busy with my munchkins. I can't believe how big they are getting. Rylie is 5 1/2 and is loving Kindergarten, and is getting ready to take a break from Ballet. She's been doing it for 7 solid months. She wants to be done right now. But she has one big performance to do before she can. She is about to be in her 1st Nutcracker performance. Very exciting - she has seen one (and loved it) and we are going to go to another one mid December. She is reading and just growing up so fast.
Chase is...Chase! Holy good grief...this is one heck of 3 yr old little boy. He fully lives up to his name, and keeps me oh so busy. He is full of energy and attitude. And makes me tear up at least once a day. It's gonna be a long year... But all that 3 yr old boy stuff aside, he is doing great. His diabetes is NOT slowing him down. If you didn't know he had it - you would never know this kid had anything going on. Which I am proud of! He is learning to bring me food and ask if he can have it. Which is a plus. Not always fun trying to figure out why his blood sugar is erratic!!! We are approaching the 1 yr mark since his diagnosis. I can't believe a year has flown by. It shows me how much we have gone through...and survived. We have come a long way, and found a normalcy in life once again. Now if it gets changed again, and not for the better...I'm gonna be ticked.
Matt has a new position in the company that unfortuntely takes him from us way too much. He is on the road or air for that matter, traveling all around the western states. He is the Western Regional OTR Retread Sales Manager for D&D Tire still. The company sold this year, so come the end of 2008 - the company will be officially under the name of Purcell Tire and Rubber Co. - you have probably heard of them. They have been around for a long time... Matt is happy with his new job and is of course - good at it!!! Nothing new there. He knows his tires.
Our life has had it's share of trials and we have come through them. Maybe not with shining colors, but we got to the other side. We continue to be thankful for what we have, and hope that the future holds nothing but greatness. I'm over the sadness and hardships. I've had my share thank you very much!!!
But I hope this finds you all well...
Much love to you all - and Happy Holidays to you all!!!!

Doing much better these days...

Well... after "checking in" and reading my past blogs, I feel like I need to update how we have been since Chase's diabetes diagnosis. As much as I wish I could write that it was not true - it's not the case. BUT... he is doing good. And I mean not only good - but fantastic!!! He was put on a insulin pump in late March. I was struggling to give my baby these piece of crap shots 3-4 times a day. He's little - he doesn't understand. He would tell me "no" and "bad momma"... Crap - it's gonna make me cry remembering that. But the good news is, that we are no longer doing that. He is on a wonderful little device that is delivering insulin to him without the needles. Now, he still gets his fingers poked 4 times a day - no matter what. But no more shots!!! I have to put a new infusion site in once every 3 days. But it is really simple, and he does great. He doesn't fight me, he doesn't flinch. He is a very brave little boy - and I should take some lessons from him! I could write a book on it - but the main thing is that HE is living his life the same that he was before diabetes. He is a wild and mischevious little boy - a typical toddler... And we love it...
Rylie, my sweet girl is now 5 yrs old, reading like a champ, being a ballerina, and will start kindergarten in late August. She is signed on for soccer again - maybe she will be into it a bit more this season. But she is doing great and continues to the best big sister to Chase and the best little helper to mommy and of course, she is always Daddy's princess!!! Love that girl to pieces...
Matt is doing great. D&D Tire sold recently, and Matt just started a new position in the newly combined companies. So hopefully it all turns out really well for him - and us as a family.
Me... I'm getting better. I am learning to forgive so to speak. I do get angry with some of the past issues involving my kids health. It can bring me down easily if I let it. I am trying to find the balance. I'm improving - still have a ways to go. But I love my family to ends of the Earth - and there is nowhere I else I'd rather be - except the spa getting a facial and a massage... :)
I hope that this is a bit easier to read and let's you all know that we are doing much better since the last post. I had a hard time reading it - very raw and real feelings I was having. It was a very tramautic time - it still stings me pretty hard when I think back on it...
love to all...
The Fernley clan...

I'm still here...

Hello all! Yes, I'm guilty. The one who was super excited about this blog...and now I struggle to post. Ack! I'd feel more guilty if I didn't know that I am in good company.

We the Mortons are all doing pretty well (especially compared to everything the Fernley Johnson families are going through! I count my blessings!) I am sick of winter, that's not news. Sadly, in Wisconsin, there will be many more weeks of it. I've decided that my personal hell would not be fire and brimstone, but bitter, biting, windy, cold. Guess that's what we get for living here...it's the same every year, no surprise, I don't know why it still bums me out every year. It is getting better. Sunday, it was about 30 degrees, sunny and no wind. Hey, I know it's still cold, but it's "warm" enough that I can bundle up the kidlets in coats and hats and not worry about frostbite. There's a 50 degree difference between 30 degrees and the sub-zero temps we've had lately. It's all a matter of perspective. I guess.

The only other news around here is Ty's sad Happy Birthday. We were meeting Jake's brother and his wife and kids at a pizza place for his birthday party on Saturday. The place wasn't open and we were waiting in line. Ty was all over the place running around. He tends to be a little top heavy and he trips often. This time, he managed to catch the corner of the door and split open his head. I heard people screaming my name from the back of the line and went back to find Jake holding Ty, blood everywhere. Naturally, I freaked out. We left Brooklyn to party with her cousins and headed to the ER. Two hours and 7 stitches later, the ordeal was over. We picked up Brooklyn from Ty's party and headed home for naps. Poor Ty. Luckily, I don't think he knew what he was missing.

I'll post some pics of the kids. I'm getting super excited already for next Thanksgiving!

Christmas - not the best one for us!!!

Well... Where do I start this one??? On December 21, 2007 - our little man Chase was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. We were in the hospital for 4 days, and came home Christmas Eve. Chase is doing great - minus the pokes. But it is still very hard to go through this and to get to thinking of all the what if's and his future and what not. He is healthy and normal - as long as we do the finger sticks and insulin shots and count all his carb intake for his insulin exchange. However, I am still finding this all to be so overwhelming and painful. He is taking this all like a champ, yet as mommy, I fear that he won't have the best life or health. I know he will, because we are taking the proper care of him. It's just really hard to be fully confident that I am doing a outstanding job. I have a lump in my throat as I'm writing this.
I wonder why MY kids are put to these tests. Why me and Matt have to yet again, face challenges with another child. We lost our 1st son, and why are we now having to deal with this? Chase is the most amazing little boy ever - I'm his mom, so of course I'm gonna think that. But he is taking this so well, and shows us all the time that he's okay. I should be too. Sometimes I am. But mostly - I'm not!!! I am scared. I'm scared of him. And he's MY baby. I am grieving. I am grieving the idea of "HEALTHY" and what Chase has to go through for the rest of his life. I am also grieving for myself. I don't want to seem selfish. But I was so looking forward to next year and hopefully Chase will be potty trained for preschool and I was looking forward to some long awaited and needed freedom. Now I feel that I WILL NEVER GET IT!!! It's not like I can just leave him with someone and go out for dinner and a movie with my hubby. Not that we did that sort of thing very often anyways. But now it's the idea that we really can't. I can't do anything for just me. Not that I had opportunities to do things on my own or for me. It's the idea that all of that is lost. How can I even think of myself or even think of leaving Chase behind to do something for me? Who is going to watch my kids? No one can unless they know how to take care of a diabetic child. That requires work and lots of attention and needles and carb counting. Structure and discipline. Who the hell wants that? I don't want it! But Chase is so important to me - to us - that he is very much worth it. I just have to keep reminding myself that it could be worse, and it's better than the alternative - not having him. That is not a option that I would dare want. He is so beautiful and precious and makes my life better. And I hate this so much for him. Stupid diabetes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Makes me sick...............
I better go because I fell like I'm just being this awful mom. I feel guilty for even thinking of myself and how this makes me feel and what I'm losing as far as freedom for a few hours a day. Please pray for us as a family for strength and to get through each day - one day at a time. Pray for a cure. They are so close - but not close enough in my mind. I want it like...yesterday!
Hope your holidays were better than ours!!!
Love,
The heart broken mom - Jess

Merry Christmas from Matt, Jess & kids...

Hello and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Wow... where has the time gone? I am still trying to get over that summer just ended. I am just blown away by how fast "life" is going. I look at my babies and just try to be in the moment as much as I can. Rylie is just on the verge of starting to read, and I am so proud and excited for her, yet as Mom, also sad. I know that she is growing up and is very independant. I pulled out her new baby clothes the other week, and it was heart tugging to hold these itty bitty things up to her. She's a little lady now. So beautiful and bright... and funny. That's a Johnson thing. I admit that I don't have the funniest families. Brunettes are serious and get the bad rap for it. Oh well.

Chase is a little man and is so generous with his hugs and kisses now. He was withholding them from us for quite awhile. Now he is being this really sweet and lovey and cuddley little guy. We love it and are enjoying it b/c we do not know how long it will last. He is talking more and more each day. I'm so excited to hear what he will say next.

Matt and I have been oh so busy with Christmas parties - just for his company. Good grief already. Three weekends in a row. Then we go to San Diego in January for his annual Manager's Meeting Retreat. Looking forward to it, but always hard on mommy to leave the kiddos behind. Thank goodness my kids have 3 sets of Grandparents. Don't know what I would do without them.

I hope that this finds all of you in good health and ready for a wonderful Christmas with our little ones. Sure does make the Holidays even more fun with them. I can't wait for Christmas morning. Rylie will have a blast this year. Each year keeps getting better. The excitement from the kids makes it so much more fun for mom and dad.
Have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! We love you guys and can't wait to see all the kids together next year for the big Johnson reunion. Remember we have some partying to do - I'll be turning the big 3-0 at that time. UUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH.
Take care - Matt, Jess, Rylie & Chasers!!!

Texas Johnsons Checking In

Hey All,

Love the idea of being able to meet up and share some pictures on line. Nicki, I can't believe how big your kiddos are! They are adorable. Do you think that Sadie will have the blond curls too? She looks like a Johnson to me! :)

Taylor and Aubrey are doing great. Taylor is almost 3 1/2 already. She is in preschool and LOVES it. She asks every night if tomorrow is preschool. Aubrey is diving into toddler hood and I feel like we have hit the 2's a little early (she is 1 1/2) - I won't say terrible, because she is my baby - but I will say she is challenging.

Justin and I are doing great as well. Getting used to Texas and enjoying the very mild winter we are having. Today its 80! We love where we are living - the area has a lot of trees, walking paths, parks and shopping... There is every single store you could ever want within 10 miles - well I take that back - we aren't closed to Costco... :)

Justin has a long commute to work which is the only downside about where we live. He rides the bus though and its nice to have time to read or sleep - so at least he is refreshed when he arrives home to his girls (all three VERY excited to have him home). He likes his job and has gotten several opportunities to travel and see wind farms in all states of completion, factories where parts are made and future sites. The company is treating him very well. I think he finds the work rewarding - so that makes him happy - which makes me happy. :)

I am busy with the kids - they really keep me busy. Good busy. I sometimes wonder what I have actually gotten done at the end of the day, but that is when I am grading myself on how clean my house is or my list of things to do... in truth, I feel like the opportunity to be home with them right now is priceless and by just being with them I am doing my job - and when I am looking around my messy house, I repeat that over and over. :) I have found time to do a triathlon (not the really long, hard ones, but a sprint triathlon) with my good friend who lives about an hour from me. We had a blast and plan to do another in March. I am finding time to read some books, work in our yard, ride my bike... mom does get out!

Well, that's what is up with us these days. We, too, have a family blog, http://tjtajohn.spaces.live.com/. I try to post once a month or so with new pics of our adventures!

Happy Turkey Day to everyone! Enjoy the holidays!

Tiffini, Justin, Taylor and Aubrey - the Texas Johnsons